Friday Fictioneers … The final view!

Yes time again for being extra creative, thinking out of the box, and clever with your word usage. Flash fiction of 100 words or less based on a creative photo prompt! I’m referring to, of course, the Friday Fictioneers. Thank you Rochelle for bringing us another opportunity to fulfill the above. If you enjoy writing, give it a try, for more details click on the link above.

And now for the photo prompt, thank you – Lora Mitchell, copyright 2013

And yes I know my story this week is more than 100 words, sorry about that! Still hoping you enjoy!

lilies-lora-mitchell

The most important thing is the setting of the stage. Everyone knew that, even the most novice actress.

Take the Easter lily for example, She thought to herself, settling more comfortably on the sofa, first imported from Japan in the mid twentieth century as she herself had been.

There was the nighttime panorama of the city, home for half a century, the place of her success. Working her way from unknown to world famous actress of stage and screen.

Not long now, she thought. Her vision was fading rapidly, too much damage from her tragic fall off the stage.

Fateful words, “we can’t repair your eyes, ma’am” both corneas were too badly lacerated!”

With quiet patient determination she sat alone and waited … like a final curtain call … for her final view.

file1741303944081Brava!

~

Thanks for the read,

~ Penny

Snapshot_20130219_2

53 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers … The final view!

    • Sorry about the rain there, hope today the sun is shining for you. Thank you for your visit and compliments, yes it is sad, but if I had used more words (lol) I would have added “tomorrow begins a brave new adventure!”

  1. an unexpected turn of events…falling off the stage for the actress, then losing her eyesight. oh, the agony of this curtain call. but perhaps, she will use her dramatic talents and rise again to live on stage once again. the applause calls her and who can resist! great story, Penny! ♥

  2. Very nice story Penny, but please tell me as she waits, is she about to die? Has she set her final scene and ended her life, waiting for some drug to take effect perhaps? There was a sense to me that the end was close, I hope she didn’t suffer. 🙂

    • Thank you. Had there been more word space I would have added that tomorrow begins the start of a brave new adventure with her portraying a new role with courage and determination. 🙂

  3. Great story – when I got to the line about her vision being damaged I realised this could be the last thing she saw – it gave the picture a whole new meaning.

  4. Dear Penny,
    I like the way she refers to herself as an import from Japan. In a few words you painted a picture of your MC and gave us a little lily history. Nice job.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    • Thank you. It is sad, there is sadness in life but she is also brave with her attitude, I wanted to convey both. Again, my thanks for your taking the time to read and comment on my story. It is appreciated by me.

  5. My favorite line was “first imported from Japan in the mid twentieth century as she herself had been”. What a unique way to convey her story. This is great, a summary of her life and the future.

    • Thank you for the lovely compliments and yes, too true, I did focus more on the story than on the count. Will try to accomplish both next week my dear friend! xo

  6. Drat and double drat!! I had this all written out once and my connection went out, making me lose it. OK, once more with feeling. I like what you did and how you worked the title into the story. I felt bad for this woman. I’m guessing that her final view is not from her eyes but of her life.

    As far as words go, here are some places you can get rid of words if you want to do so.

    Just say, “There was the nighttime panorama” (nighttime is one word) instead of “And of course, there was the night time panorama.”

    “…from an unknown to that of the world famous actress of stage and screen” easily becomes “from unknown to world famous stage and screen actress.”

    “…With quiet and patient determination” reads just as well if you say, “With quiet, patient determination.”

    Just a few ideas…

    janet

    • Thanks janet. sorry about your drats (that is so frustrating) and thank you. Excellent advice re: extra words, and I appreciate your taking the time to help me tighten and improve, I might add, my story, again sincere thanks, Penny xx

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