Are you Really – YOU?
Let me put that another way. Are you the YOU that you wish to be or someone else’s version! A societal construct manufactured by demographic opinions. Or a person lead by those who feel they “know best” about who and how you should be.
It seems that too many of us conform to a certain mindset so we can be accepted and thought well of. In fact I know very few who don’t experience this type of thinking, at some point or other in their lives.
Some actually live there, though, dwelling in misery. That is to say, they try so hard for acceptance by performing to another’s tune, they end up unhappy within themselves; because they are not being the person they truly want to be, the one on the inside.
And in the process are losing themselves, and everything that they might be, by trying to be something they are not. Meanwhile going through all of the “acceptable” motions on the outside.
You know who you are, too. I know I was there – for quite awhile. Trying very hard to please, so I would be accepted. It didn’t dawn on me until much later that all of the people I really admired, were their own person. And I enjoyed being around them, because they enjoyed being around themselves and were happy, just because. They felt good about themselves and felt very little need to conform to the dictates of others unless it was something they wanted for themselves also.
I began to experiment being me, on the outside, in small little steps, a little bit at a time, and the really astonishing thing for me was (and still is) the day I realized that those whom I had struggled, (so very hard) to get the approval of, now admired and respected me (and told me so).
Quite the lesson, because I was now doing what I wanted to do for myself and while I was pleased with their comments, it was no longer important. Being myself was what was important. And finally, I learned to say “no” when it was healthy for me to say no, and “yes” when it was healthy for me to say yes! My own person, a struggle but I made it.
So I ask again. Are you … really YOU? And if not, what’s stopping you? Try some little baby steps, venture out from the inside. You may find the climate quite to your liking (a happier one, too). I find I now like “the me that I am” very much and I think you should feel that way about you – too! It’s a great and liberating feeling!
Try, if for no other reason than for the person hidden inside, okay?
45 thoughts on “Are YOU, hidden from view, on the inside!”
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Great post Penny. I am finding the me I like is not the me my mother-in-law likes but have no plans of changing back to that person I was so long ago, trying to please everyone else. It does make for a somewhat contentious environment around here.
LuAnn, trust me when I say I know “exactly” how you feel! Hang in there dear friend … you …be very good to you!!!!!! 🙂 xx
Thanks Penny. Hope you are having a beautiful weekend. 🙂
And you also, as you can dear friend! Happy Summer to you! 🙂
Eccellente articolo, cara Penny!!!
Un saluto cordiale
Grazie Claudio, mi auguro che i vostri sogni erano quelle piacevoli, amico mio!
Really interesting Penny and inspiring 🙂
Very good approach and question. The subject is very interesting. A meditation 😉
It is indeed Gys, how are you doing my friend? 🙂
I’m fine Penny 🙂
I also tend to conform and I feel relieved when being myself 🙂
It is hard on some days Yoshiko, but the more frequently you can be you, the better you are for the experience! 🙂
Yeah and I feel alive now 🙂
Standing to applaud!
Thank you Lyn!
Wonderful post – and message Penny. “Authentic self” sometimes gets lost – or blurry – and it’s good practice to pause every now and then, and reassess who we truly are. A teacher once told me that checking in with our own “emotion” about any given topic is a good personal ‘litmus test’ (i made up that analogy 😉 ) but basically if something doesn’t ‘feel good to you’ – ask yourself if you are going against who you really are in any given scenario. It’s a pretty good approach I think! Love and Hugs my dear wise friend ~ x RL
Hello bestest bud, I like your analogy 🙂 and your approach, I have a similar one. It took awhile to come up with a healthy protocol that I was willing to follow (inside my head), lol. But you are correct if it doesn’t “feel” good, pay attention, and act on it. Much love and many hugs to you Robyn, always, xo
So so true, Penny. 🙂
Hugs Paula xxx
Thank you my friend! xx 🙂
beautiful. what an encouraging post. those baby steps can be so frightening at first. however, they are very rewarding. my hope is that woman everywhere will find value within themselves. trusting one’s self is a very powerful first step. thank you for, once again, sharing your heart in such an impacting way.
Thank you very much, Dee. If I make a positive difference to just one person each day, I am a happy camper!
Too many people waste their time trying to be someone else. Life’s too short for that, I’m me (but not Mitzie Mee ;))
Oh Mitzie, you are just the most perfect you I have ever met “online”, anxious to meet the real you however, my friend! 🙂 xx
Here I am!
I used to conform – kind of. I’ve always had a streak of non-conformance running through me though. And – the older I get – the less I conform. I’m ok with who I am & feel more at easy being me. Yes – I can be a little rough around the edges at times – but – I like me the way I am.
xx 🙂 🙂 xx
I’m so glad to hear that RoSy because I like you exactly the way you are! 🙂 xo
What’s stopping me? Everything and nothing. Fear and courage.
Small steps Alastair, small steps, my dear friend! 🙂 xx
I want to write this book, but I am nervous of it’s reception
Well, I read this great advice from a published author, who took awhile to get published, and is now doing well, unfortunately I don’t remember who it was, but during an interview he was asked to give advice about writing a book and it was: Just write it, don’t let anything stop you, don’t think about what will happen or what won’t. Don’t do anything accept write it and then submit it – then you can worry about the other stuff! but for right now – just write, period! Seems like a sound plan to me Alastair! 🙂
It sounds like a massively good idea 🙂
To quote a fameous sailor, “I yam what I yam!”
And the most perfect yam (I adore Popeye) to be! 🙂
I’m thinking this is a lifelong journey trying to find ‘self’ as we are constantly evolving… what we were years ago are not likely what we are now and not like we will be in the future. Great post my dear friend xxx
Thanks, you’re right of course Roxi, it is, we are, something that evolves (hopeful for the better – for ourseves!). Thank you again, dearest friend, xo
I can relate, have a version of the person i so wanna be soft gentle ,understanding actually even be their a little …see for me its this piece to protect that brings out the hard me..activated by anything really who knows sometimes really…
Ill continue to search maybe just maybe ill find her the real me!
Yay, I know you will! I believe in you! xx
Funny you made me think a little piece…
Thanks for encouragement ….wanna try maybe to make this my diversion today ….wow i think i could !!
Thank u penny for planting new sead!
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Todays inspiration from Ms. Penny.
Thank you so much Jueseppi, my friend! xx
You do good stuff Ms. Penny.
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♥ ❀ ✿ Namaste ❀ ✿ ♥