I wish you could touch me now …

I am vulnerable because of loving so pure and deeply, my walls of protection cannot keep my desire for you at bay.

and so … I wish you could touch me now. Not my heart, you’ve touched me there too deeply, it’s still bruised and bleeding. But my body still hungers for you.

I need your touch …

I desire the warmth of your caress, the closeness of your body, the physical contact of … you!

I wish you could touch me now …

… even as I understand morning light will illuminate the true reality of our relationship. I know for all your tender caring words, you would be gone and my loving soul will still be bruised … for all your promises said in the moonlight hours of sensual need and gratification. I know all this.

But the longing remains so …

I still wish you could touch me now.

I’ll always have our memories of the night time to sustain me, in daylight hours spent alone, reflecting on why you said one thing and did another. Belittling my efforts instead of supporting them, and yet still I love you. And wish you to be happy.

I am pleased to hear you are where you’ve wanted to be for so long. I am happy for you. Resigned, accepting and aware of some of the hard learned lessons of life, when one exposes one’s soul during love.

But now in these evening hours I dream of you touching me again, filling my sensual needs. Even, as reality has come full circle and comprehension of the cruelty of those who love and those who take in the guise of love, is complete.

Touch me … but let it be only the physical, my bruised soul cannot bear the mockery of a pretense at true love (yours were personal and emotional needs for yourself. I don’t believe you really thought of my needs – perhaps as an afterthought), but my body does respond to your loving body. So in that, there is truth.

I wish you could touch me. I’m prepared now for tomorrow … it hurts, but I understand. With all the love in my heart that I give so freely, I was so sure someone might love me the way I loved them in return … it seems I was mistaken!

~

Most definitely an unrequited love piece here. Not to worry, my next fictional piece is part two of adventure and excitement. Dry your tears and stay tuned for fun! Our fictional young lady in the piece above (p.s.- she’s the one trapped in the tunnelΒ https://thewhyaboutthis.com/2013/07/22/alastairs-photo-fiction-the-tunnel-and-survival/ , although brokenhearted, she’s about to kick some serious a..!) More to come!

~ Penny

penny

52 thoughts on “I wish you could touch me now …

  1. An interesting piece. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be physical with someone I loved who was selfish and didn’t intend to be with me any longer. I think it would make it harder to break away from them.

  2. What can I say now, my passionate friend? They’ve said it all. And yet I have to add my voice. This is a haunting piece of writing, rich in emotion and powerful in longing. I’m touched πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Celestine. There are some experiences in life that stay with one. You learn and move on, but you can draw from those times (in the past) to add to a written piece, I believe. Again, thank you for your caring and lovely thoughts my dear friend! πŸ™‚ xx

  3. A very nicely written piece with just the right amount of emotion, I am now wondering about part two so I hope that I don’t miss out on it 😦

    Hey I hope that your weekend has
    been a wicked one so far Penny πŸ™‚

    Andro xxx

    • Hi Andro, thank you. I hope so too. I’m having a lot of fun developing this character. My weekend was very good, perhaps not wicked enough, but still an excellent time of things. Hoping yours was wicked fun, dear friend! πŸ™‚ xx

  4. I have a friend drowning in grief since her husband died a little over a year ago. She would not be able to read the entire piece. Would you mind if I put this in an e-mail for her?

      • I’m sorry too, she and I are the same age– less than 60– and she seems as if he died only last week. Thank you for letting me send this to her, it is simply beautiful and the thoughts she has expressed many times.

        • It takes years for many to adjust to a loss, Jackie. Remind her to (as she can) fill her world up with the “today” of things, her thoughts will still wander to her memories, of course, but something new of a catalyst type of nature, can bring her some peace, as her mind redirects itself, even if only briefly to something other than grief. I wish her well, Thank you for being such a loving and caring friend! Penny, xx

          • Hi Penny, I had a member in my Parents Anonymous group who had several family members die in a relatively short time. It was truly unusual, there was a brother from AIDS, a cousin who committed suicide, car accidents, you name it. This member became my group’s go-to person for death because she had so much experience with grief. When my abusive mom died and my grief was off the charts, Kathy helped me get past that. Anyway, I have been giving my friend Nita the same things to cope that I received. Sometime it is a small thing, other days it is harder. She will get there… I sent her the piece and I am waiting to hear from her. I live in NJ and she is in NC so we don’t get to see each other but we may at some point. I will tell her what you said. Thanks, Jackie

            • I understand very well Jackie. I’ve a little more experience in that area than I would have wanted, as well. Some days are so hard, it’s unimaginable and that’s when people (like you) truly make a difference Huge, although sometimes it’s difficult to tell at the time. warm affection, and hugs to you and of course Nita, Penny

  5. Wow! You have fashioned this piece with great love… real and sadly, often, true. I wonder is it partly due to the fact of being woman – I mean, the depth of feeling and the ability for love and desire to travel inward and outward, in keeping with the mood of the season…

    Well done! Look forward to the next installment.

    • mj, several times I have been blown away by your innate intelligence. Yes, and the depth of what you were saying here, too true, essential in fact in the nature of being a woman! Thank you for your insightful thoughts!

  6. Whew – Good to know there will be a twist on this.
    I’m on her side. And – if she needs back-up – count me in!
    xx πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ xx

    • Thank you Katie, I am seeing how “real” I can make a central character in a story I am writing seem, by introducing her backstory through a variety of different posts with different themes. An out of the box idea I’m developing as her character develops. Wish me luck, something a little different! πŸ™‚

    • That is a wonderful thought anelephant has. I will certainly keep it in mind. This however is fiction, part of an ongoing piece of fiction in a story I’m working on.

      The unrequited part is creative background info re: the protagonist, of which the full story comes to light later on, My first attempts at action adventure, so I’m thinking out of the box, and introducing pieces about her life (first one in Alastair’s Photo fiction last Sunday) in different genres. Trying to see how well I can get the readers to “know” to this character!

      Your location does seems idyllic, as I read of the Med. on your blog posts, so obviously being there would be most excellent, I thank you for your generous offer! Penny xx

  7. Good morning Penny (Australian Sunday )
    I read this post over breakfast and I can relate to your baring your soul.
    I have similar desires as a single person. There are times when being single and away from the torment that was my marriage is blissful but like you I too miss the moments of intimacy.
    I understand the need for physical contact but I often ask myself do I want to expose myself to pain again. ( my confession of a failed lover??)
    I think we all need to express as you have. We all do it in our own way. You are brave setting out your inner feelings this way. Remember the sun comes up in the morning! XX

    • Thanks Michael! Many of us have experienced these feelings you are describing, however in this case, it is honestly a part of a fictional story (several parts) that I am writing. But I agree with your truths. At the moment I am heart whole and enjoying writing a great deal. I do thank you for your thoughtful and caring words, my friend! πŸ™‚

      • Ok fiction is good, so good my dear it sounded real. Excellent in that most of us do deal in fiction and we can make our readers react. Again it is what we aim to do as writers.

        • Yes well as you know, much of life experiences are fodder for our fictional stories, and I am no exception to that rule, which is why I appreciated your lovely words, very much! xx

    • Hi, Lisa. Thanks. This character, to be part of a series has been deceived much of her life, by different people, so now she’ll be running (from those who want access to her “special powers”) for awhile, as she figures out her unique talents and how to fight back!

Thank you for your thoughts!

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