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Short short (flash) fiction – Friday Fictioneers, check it out! A wonderful weekly writing challenge for all writers, brought to you by the talented and gracious hostess (Rochelle). Click here and then – write!
This weeks photo prompt:
Photo credit: Jan Wayne Fields
Flash Fiction version:
(count – 100 words)
Paradise Lost
Remember my saying “when I am in your arms the world is a perfect place?” It was true. I felt loved, desired and safe. Three strong emotional needs we all share, I found in your arms. Isn’t that what paradise is all about? Shared experiences in the moment, our weekend in New York, wrapped in gossamer tissues of hopes, desires and promises.
Then our worlds clashed, private agendas displacing love with personal goals.
Now, memories of our brief happiness mixed with desire and longing. Loving memories of paradise … and paradise lost.
Missing the warmth of your arms.
*
The full length version:
Paradise Lost
I miss the warmth of your arms. I have for 6 long months now. But your agenda was different than mine. We did connect though, didn’t we? The long weekend we spent in one of the most romantic cities on the planet, New York, was heavenly in it’s perfection.
Do you remember my telling you, when I was in your arms, the world was a perfect place? I felt loved, desired and safe – all rolled into one. Three of the strongest emotional needs humans require. I found them all – in your arms.
But that’s what paradise is all about, isn’t it? What is experienced in the moment; wrapped in gossamer tissues of hopes, desires and promises. Such heady stuff.
And so we played, laughed and loved, reality continuing, all around us, while we lived our dreams. Then our worlds clashed, the love still there but overwhelmed by our individual game plans and our inability to express ourselves well – as you pointed out after you’d been gone for awhile and we were speaking on the phone – You asked why neither one of us had looked into the other’s eyes and said “I need you and love you so much” even though we both felt it.
Each, so insecure of self we feared the other’s open rejection and our own ability to be what we felt the other wanted – so we were silent.
But happiness was mine, for a brief period of time. Now I have memories of contentment mixed in with sensual desire and longing. Such loving memories of paradise and paradise lost.
I miss the warmth of your arms.
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Thank you for reading, have a lovely day today and a beautiful tomorrow!
~ Penny
The Why About This 
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You write so beautifully Penny. Although it was wonderful to read the longer version, I found that the first piece said it all, which speaks to why you write so beautifully. 🙂
Thanks LuAnn, it was easy to write, I was 😉 inspired, you might say! 🙂
Beautiful and touching or moving ? I’m poor with words. Just loved it.
I don’t think your poor with words at all, Indira. You are quite gifted actually! Thank you for your lovely compliment!
Thanks you are very encouraging.
you know how to write with tenderness and sadness… very very good…
Thanks Björn. Experience does assist one with this, my friend!
Not an experience I would be happy to have … still very nice to read
Thank you .. there is value in all of our learning lessons in life!
Once again AnElephantCant find the words.
He once had a similar experience in another magical city in the USA when, in similar fashion, distance eventually intervened.
Fragility of confidence – or is it belief? – seems to create gaps where none really exist.
Magnificent writing, 100 word masterpiece and a longer heart-breaker.
Hugs
Thank you B. Yes I agree with you, hugs
Very touching story about the complications of life and love. Stunning, Penny, from the first word to the last. Perfect.
Tom
Hi Tom! Some stories are easier to write than others, I find! Thank you for kind comments
achingly beautiful, Penny, both of them 🙂
Hi Celestine, thank you dear friend. Sometimes the words just come forth – don’t they! The difference a few life experiences can make! Have an excellent weekend my friend – you and your family too! 🙂 xx
This was very moving, penny. The second one was powerful and the first was very good too. Hope you are having a good day
Dear Penny,
You must’ve read my mind. I noticed you’d been off the list for a while. I missed you and am happy to see you back. Life has a way of happening while we’re busy making other plans, doesn’t it?
Each of your versions have merit. A unique and enjoyable, if not unexpected, take on the prompt. Pity neither of them could admit to their feelings. Poignant.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Penny,
Both versions spoke volumes. “…Loved, desired and safe.” Powerful needs and the great emptiness that can fill the heart at their loss. Powerful writing.
Aloha,
Doug
Enjoyed the longer and the shorter versions. Powerful writing.
🙂
as beautiful and aching as a violin piece. Maybe you guys will find each other again. You just never know…
Life does happen that way sometimes, Karen! You do never know … about many things. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I hope your week has been going well for you my friend! 🙂
PDG, P…pretty darn good, Penny! (an’ I was so overdue…) thanks for sayin’…:)
A pleasure, and it’s almost weekend time too! 🙂
I love how you offered your write in a condensed version for the purpose of the prompt & included a full length version too. I read them both & enjoyed them both just the same. Although the 2nd one has a bit more to it – the first picks up the key points & tells the same story.
You did this so well!
xx 🙂 🙂 xx
Hi RoSy, thank you. It was a bit of a challenge to do one and then the other. Speaking of doing something well, I need to go over and check out your mushroom photograph, according to my daughter it’s absolutely excellent! Be there shortly! 🙂 xo
Oh – I am so *SMILING BIG* here!
xx 🙂 🙂 xx
Good! I’m guessing it’s another one of those “professional” angles that you do so very well! 🙂 xo
Nice to be back and get to read all the stories again. Can’t really add much to all the effusive comments above. I sometimes think I should just comment first, then read the other comments. Oh, well, either way it was a touching story.
janet
Hey hi Janet, life still going crazy busy for me, like full bore. People are very generous with their comments. I do value your opinion however, most especially the time you take from your busy day to visit. Thank you very much!
What a completely surprising take on the prompt! I love it. Both versions have strength. Reads like a love letter. A letter never sent, no doubt.
Thank you Honie, could be the case! 🙂
I love this but broke my heart at the same time. Oh New York…can be very romantic. I loved both versions but the longer one really hit me in the heart more. It is funny how love and loss is something we can all relate to on one level or another.
Thanks Anja. It’s an interesting thing, I wrote the longer one first and really thought it came out the way I wanted. And then I wrote the second one and found I liked that version also. I don’t think anyone can go through life and not experience these feelings, one way or another.
It’s those experiences that give us writing material. 🙂 Both versions are great. I love the long one because you get to see more into the story. The short one was powerful but I like to linger more in the tales. I am considering trying this prompt…never attempted one of these.
I think you’d enjoy it Anja! You get lots of feedback too, from other very cool writers! 🙂
I am trying to come up with something now. lol But at same time my son called to tell me his truck isn’t working. Oh life…gets in the way of writing. lol
Too too … too true! 🙂
Ugh I am failing at keeping it 100 words. lol May try next one when my mind isn’t everywhere.
🙂 it’s okay to come close too! 🙂
I am hovering at 265 🙂
Hmmmm. Alrighty then! 🙂
Both versions were wonderful..I found myself liking the first one the best..you are a wonderful writer, I always enjoy visiting you
Hi Patricia thank you. If I may return the compliment I think you are a very gifted writer. And I apologize for not coming by very frequently to visit. But I do mean what I say. xx
no problem..sometimes life gets in the way !
I actually liked the short version better. Such emotion packed into 100 words: it carried a stronger punch. Very well done!
Thank you Jan and I agree with you! The long one rambles a bit, I felt the flash fiction said what needed to be said. Again, thank you for stopping by, reading and commenting!
Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat™.
Then our worlds crashed…gave me a visceral reaction. That’s good writing!
Thank you Paulette, with this one the words just seemed to come to mind as I needed them, I know you can relate to that feeling, as a writer yourself!
Oh, I changed the name of my blog as well. It’s now “A Mixed Bag” 🙂
I like it! 🙂
Thank you 🙂 With all the different things I put on there now, I wanted to call it something that said what it was … lots of stuff lol.
WOW!!!
The full version makes the first one completely different. It shows what missing words out will do. You have proved here just how good you are with writing, Penny. These are awesome.
(And this will probably have to be moderated as I had a complete change of my blog today)
Thanks Alastair for your generous praise. And Yes I did have to approve your comment. I guess I need to go catch up on your blog soonest and a whole bunch of other wonderful bloggers that I am behind on visiting. I look forward to seeing what you’ve changed dear friend! 🙂 xo
The theme is the same as I love that one and I have so many widgets I don’t want to lose them.
This story though, is incredible. The way you did both of them, cutting a huge amount of words out took the passion from the first one. It’s amazing the difference it makes, and I can see why you didn’t want to cut down the fairy tale. You truly are gifted my friend
Lovely Penny. We have memories of what might have been, guess that’s part of life. You have expressed the longing for what was lost so well. Well done and best wishes.
Hello Michael. Thank you. You might say I was inspired with this one. I saw the photo and the words were right there. Thank you my friend! 🙂 xx
love it Penny both versions are really good have a great day!
Hi Doris, so behind the gun here, but rearranging and prioritizing my days so I can go visit more, online, my wonderful friends and also have a little time to draw and share (missing both, hugely). Thanks for stopping by, it is so very appreciated by myself, as are you dear friend! 🙂 xo
same here I have been busy doing other stuff, I am catching up with my friend today, had to make a little time for the blogs and I am about to do something for the time out for art don’t know what but we will see
I look forward to seeing what you come up with Doris, I know it’ll be great!
😉