Dwelling on True Love
What is True Love? Sitting here thinking about it, I suppose I’d have to vote for it as being “Something Other”. Passion is most definitely excellent, but it does tend to have a place and time attached to it. Myth … well … the “living happier ever after” story doesn’t happen in the real world, so by the process of elimination I’m left with “Something Other”! True Love does fit best in this category. But of what does “Something Other” consist?
While I’ve learned the hard way about the myth of true love, most recently just a couple of years ago and, of course, it was painful and really hurt. But time does heal, mostly. and we move on.
The beauty of passion with your partner in the moment, well that is incomparable, most all of us would agree with that. And it would be a glorious thing if romantic passion could survive the various degrees of life’s intrusions, but it rarely does.
Coming up with a solid “something other” for what love can be between a couple is difficult. Something one can sink one’s teeth into (besides sweet delicate skin – oops, that’s passion again). Respecting your partner and appreciating them for how they are, in fact enjoying them for who and how they are would certainly fit in the “Something Other” category, for starters.
But for true love to last, it has to be founded on more than appreciation and adoration. There needs to be some sort of substance that binds. A sticky kind of emotional glue that is positive in nature not negative. Not a clinging love, or worse yet a controlling love, but an equality that exists mutually and completely between the two.
So Something Other must be something that binds two hearts so closely together that they think, in many ways, as one – while remaining clearly independent, their very own individuals. Not codependent as much as a heartmeld. A sharing of hearts, through the good and the bad both. An understanding and acceptance of their own natures. A miniature ecosystem involving just the two of them as both the giver and the receiver. Yes I believe that would be the something other that makes true love last.
What say you, my friends?
~ Penny
The Why About This 
Emotional glue, kindness, concern for the other above yourself – what a lovely post and what lovely role models your parents have been for you . Love to you 🙂
Thank you kindly dear friend. It’s good to see you. Hope the world has been being especially good to you! Much love returned, 🙂 xx
In the last paragraph, you said it all. I agree with you. I was going through all comments and your replies. Delightful.
Thanks Indira, I myself am lucky to have wonderful people surrounding me, sadly true love with a man has not happened – yet! 🙂
I say, brilliant! ❤
Thanks Debby. I wish my experience had come from personal positive experiences however, my mom and dad were married for 65 years, and they are a very good template to follow! xx
Wow God bless! 🙂 xo
Definitely in the ‘something else’ category, I agree and it is something so rare and so precious. I also believe we are very very fortunate if we are able to capture true love even once in our life.
You and I agree on so much LuAnn. When we do meet I think we’ll spend a lot of time nodding our heads in agreement when one or the other says something, LOL! 🙂
I am looking forward to that day. 🙂
I also, LuAnn! 🙂
Definitely something other…
xo 🙂 🙂 xo
Definitely that, RoSy! 🙂 xo
Thinking back to when I fell in love (several times, I’m afraid), I used to feel vaguely unhinged and not able to concentrate properly on the things I needed to concentrate upon. The whole falling in love thing is quite frightening because of that feeling of loss of control and self-government. You are so at the mercy of the other person and their whims.
I prefer “love” twenty years into my marriage, because for all Mister’s irritating habits (and I’ve probably got some of my own, too), we enjoy talking to each other and we’re probably better friends than when we started out. That being said, marriage or long-term partnership is hard work and has to involve quite a bit of compromise on both sides.
Hi Sarah, very very wise words here, my friend and true, every single one of them! Have an excellent week ahead! xo
AnElephantCant believe in true love
He too has a heart that’s been broken
To make matters worse
He knows there are words
Which once said can never be unspoken
I agree that words can never be unspoken but thank goodness there is always a potential supply of new words, with new meanings and new potentials! xo
I agree that it is Something Other. How many times, though, can we experience this Something Other in our lifetimes? Is it possible to encounter real true love more than once, or is it only completely true once? If so, how do we know which is the one, and which is the almost one?
A great post that gets the old grey matter pulsing. Thanks Penny 🙂
Hi Alastair, when you put it like that it is definitely something to think and speak about. I like to think “true love” is a condition so it can happen again, of course we do tend to build our walls up when it doesn’t work out don’t we? Still it can be something that makes us tear our walls back down too! 🙂 xo
I suppose you are right, it can happen again. After all, it would be pretty boring if we only found it at a young age and then it was gone. We would go through the rest of life without the hope of ever finding it again. And some definitely deserve to find it more than once.
Yes they (we) do!!!!!!!!
Thank you, Penny, for this 🙂 True love acknowledge each others’ strengths and weaknesses to complement each’s lackness. Yoshiko
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Your words speak true here,Yoshiko, thank you my friend for your lovely compliment also! 🙂
Welcome, Penny 🙂
I suspect it is this and maybe something more. It is that itch, right in the back of your heart that makes you aware of the other person, their needs and makes you want to meet them because doing otherwise is unthinkable. Whether that need is a touch or a kind word or making the bed in the morning.
Despite my history, I believe in love. True Love, Romantic Love; yes, even to a degree happily ever after. I believe we have soul mates, we simply sometimes don’t have the patience to look for them, wait for them.
Hi Valentine I love how you’ve worded this, my friend. And I agree with you as well. Patience is indeed a virtue and Love is indeed worth waiting for (even though it is sometimes very difficult to do so …) xx
I love your post and I think true love has to do with how the person makes you feel even after youve come to an understanding of who the person really is. I also think it has to do with the memories you share, being able to care for that person while taking care of your own needs and loving them regardless of whether u are in a relationship with them or not. True love is be unconditional and caring for someone’s happiness without expecting anything back. Its a wonderful feeling, action and I believe it really does exist.
Hi and thank you. I love your words here. All true and spoken with true understanding, I believe. Good for you. Have an excellent week ahead. xx
Hi Penny what a good question. I like the word ‘heartmeld’ I think that says a lot.
I agree there has to be a degree of “I can’t live without you’ along with a fair portion of ‘being you is what I love’ along with sharing lives that are similar in some ways and recognising the differences as gifts to share with one another. Encouraging each other to be the people we are, not wanting to change who they are but celebrating their individuality. Not always easy I grant you but an ideal we probably all seek. Well I’m giving it a go at least. Enjoy your day Penny. Good post.
Hello Michael,
Thank you, my friend. I think you do exceedingly well in the “giving it a go” department. Hoping your week is a good one and not as hot as it is here! 🙂 xo
Hi Penny its winter down here and I am fortunate that I live in a temperate part of the country. We had a frost the other morning, coldest its been, so far. Stay cool Penny the heat doesn’t last forever….
Hi Michael, I could use some of that coolness right now it will be 107 degrees today, sigh! Working on staying cool, however! 🙂 xo