Often … following failure … illumination arrives! An enlightening expanded awareness, emotionalized by the pity of self.
Yes, self pity, frequently seen to be in attendance along with illumination, uncomfortably sharing space with one’s emerging realization of having messed up, lost the game, or the prize … and one does feel quite the fool, perhaps likening onto fallen prey just prior to expiration.
Although, retrospectively, we must assume the last thing on the dying prey’s mind would be illumination, perhaps rather just a single final thought, such as ” …Oh Crap”! That might do, but generally speaking however, those thoughts and feelings are left for those of us who live on after the fall, continuing to skirt the precipice between success and failure.
I will waste only a few words in the contemplation of mundane humans, and there are many, whose walk through life is an unmitigated bore because they come and go determined to make no waves, go with the flow, be among the passive, receptive only of “group mentality” and not interested (perhaps fearful or envious) of the original idea or thought, but with no goal in mind except to blend in, which they do until …
But enough about those, although they number greatly and are oft seen among the vultures sitting in the wait, which is usually viewed as a “safe” place to be, for all except the arriving carrion.
Ah yes, the encroaching vultures, for they do encroach while waiting in the sidelines, certainly not cheering one on, unless it be towards failure. So they wait …
It would certainly be much easier to get up, dust oneself off and get on with things, if not for awareness of the waiting vultures. Their jeering and calling out with scathingly searing voices continually reminding of failures, shortcomings, errors and misfortunes. And they are never far away, are they? Their echoes repeat in memory’s shadowed losses.
And if true, where and when does “positive” illumination break through into the light to lift us up, make us whole again, prepare us to do battle, shore up the weakened places, make us stronger, more determined, if needs be, to achieve our ends. When does inspiration come? How does it come, through the darkness of known failures and ever expanding fears?
Does it peak around corners, wondering if it’s safe to come out, or does it consider alternatives and make carefully planned and strategic moves?
I think not!
“Know this, all you free thinking creative ones – INSPIRATION is born from within where there be no rationale for the negative or wrong, only the mightiest sensation and manifestation of possibilities, the very essence and nature of inspiration is such that it springs into being within a single seed of potential found at the core of our soul’s universe – needing nothing more to come forth but … THE BELIEF THAT IT CAN!”
~ Penny L Howe, 2014