I Go On

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There are moments … when I crave so desperately to be in your arms. I know you chose security over the insecurity (that was all I had to give during my time of loss and turmoil). Well actually insecurity along with my love, a belief in you and your loving words of support, and a true need for you by my side.

But I did and do understand. And I am happy for you. You are exactly where you want to be.

As for me, well, sometimes I find myself forgetting you left me to pursue your personal dreams, leaving our shared dreams far behind. Leaving me to conquer them on my own, reshaping into a single dream. And I have, for the most part.

Yet, even so, there are still those nights when the thought of being held safely in your arms is so compelling … sigh.

I have had many people ask me where my strength of will comes from (and my happiness). My strength comes through learned experiences of facing life’s hardships on my own, often when those I cared about weren’t there as I had thought they would be. This is called surviving.

And my reason for my happiness – conquering the adversity and fears that accompanied the hand I was dealt. Alone and on my own … yes, and sometimes so lonely.

But none the less, much stronger as a survivor of both life and love’s misfortunes because I am not helpless, inferior or weak and therefore …

       “In spite of Life’s Challenges …
   I Go On!” ~ Plh, 2016

~ Penny

14 thoughts on “I Go On

  1. This was beautiful. It’s something that I can relate too. It’s nice to know that people have similar experiences that people can share, regardless of the distance they are from each other.

    • Hello, and thank you so much. It is nice isn’t it? The feeling that you’re not alone. I find it comforting, myself. Again, sincere thanks for stopping by and sharing, very much appreciated.

  2. HI penny; I understand what you wrote. I was in a situation a little different being that I lost my mother when she was only 53 years old from a heart attack. Being the oldest I had to take

    on the responsibility of being a mother to my sister who had just got married. So when she got burn on her hand she d call and ask me what to do.

    When she had her 1st I went over to give her a hand and he was premature and had problem at birth. So he s intellectually handicap but

    he functions on his own his 31 has a job and gets around by bus on his own. When he was I year old I babysat he had special needs.

    I d have to do exercise to get his limbs moving, like motor power while taking care of my two 2 boys of 20 months difference. So when I hear

    people complaining I say to myself why are wining. You have not write to do if you re in good health. Have a nice day. Suzanne

    ________________________________

    • Hi, Sue. Thank you so much for sharing your moving and personal heartfelt experiences. Like you, I am most grateful for what I have today and understand that we can grow and become stronger from the hardships we experience. Hoping your week ahead is a nice one also.

    • Hello, Alejandro. I went thru this painful process myself with my parents, so I really do understand. Sending you sincere and loving support, my friend. You are not alone (although I know it seems so). You will be strong, I know it, for yourself and your parents. And your awesome dog, that I know you are closely bonded to, is a wonderful emotional release for you. Please take care of you during this difficult period of time. All my love, Penny

  3. Awesome poem Penny, though some sadness, but there is acceptance…always your words are always so real, genuine and so soulful. Know there are many who treasure and love you my sister! God bless and have a wonderful Sunday!

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