There are moments … when I crave so desperately to be in your arms. I know you chose security over the insecurity (that was all I had to give during my time of loss and turmoil). Well actually insecurity along with my love, a belief in you and your loving words of support, and a true need for you by my side.
But I did and do understand. And I am happy for you. You are exactly where you want to be.
As for me, well, sometimes I find myself forgetting you left me to pursue your personal dreams, leaving our shared dreams far behind. Leaving me to conquer them on my own, reshaping into a single dream. And I have, for the most part.
Yet, even so, there are still those nights when the thought of being held safely in your arms is so compelling … sigh.
I have had many people ask me where my strength of will comes from (and my happiness). My strength comes through learned experiences of facing life’s hardships on my own, often when those I cared about weren’t there as I had thought they would be. This is called surviving.
And my reason for my happiness – conquering the adversity and fears that accompanied the hand I was dealt. Alone and on my own … yes, and sometimes so lonely.
But none the less, much stronger as a survivor of both life and love’s misfortunes because I am not helpless, inferior or weak and therefore …
“In spite of Life’s Challenges …
I Go On!” ~ Plh, 2016