funny

Monday’s Finish the Story: The Porta Potty Portal

/ Penny L Howe / 19 Comments
2014-11-17-bw-beacham1

Photograph by Barb W. Beacham copyright © 2014

The Outhouse aka an old fashioned Porta Potty

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“When I rented the room, I did not think it would be this one! But its worked out pretty good after all.”

“Why is that?”

“Because this is the Portal.”

“What do you mean this is the portal?”

“What do you mean … what do I mean? This is the Portal. You know the gateway to another dimension?”

“You’re kidding? I’m not going in there!”

“Why not? It’s just a place where people do … well .. their thing. No big deal.”

“Yes, it is a big deal. And I’m not going in there.”

“Well then I guess you won’t be following me into an alternative universe then, will you?”

“Ah, come on. If anyone see’s both of us going in there at the same time, what are they going to think?”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere, what anybody are you talking about?”

“Okay, so we step inside and then what happens?”

“Well there’s a flusher installed in this one … so we flush.”

“We flush?”

“Yes, that’s what I just said, we flush.”

“Are you telling me we’ll be flushing ourselves into another universe? Seriously?”

“Look, I know it sounds a bit unusual …”

“… a bit unusual … a bit UNUSUAL?”

“Yes, but I think you’ll find it all works out in the end!”

~

Thanks for reading, I hope I got a few laughs out of you with this one! Have an excellent rest of your week, stay warm and safe.

For more information about Mondays Finish The Story (flash fiction) Writers Challenge, where the writer uses both a photo and an opening sentence for the prompt: click HERE. Barb will guide you through the process, be sure and read some of the other entries while you’re there.

To have a Post or not to have a Post … that is the question!

/ Penny L Howe / 14 Comments

Tree Swallows

“Hey Joe, that’s my post (post – get it all you bloggers, lol)!“

“Well excuussseee me! I don’t see your name on it, Dave!”

(Stay tuned to see how this plays out. Will Dave be able to keep his post? Or will Joe hang on to the post he now considers his own. Actually they both see a cute chick and leave in just a little while to see where she’s heading – so having a post becomes a moot point!)

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Just a little humor here, hope you’re all enjoying your weekend!

~ Penny

 

 

Rock Humor – You gotta’ love it!

/ Penny L Howe / 12 Comments
Rock Humor - To be taken with a grain of sand!

Rock Humor – To be taken with a grain of sand!

* * *

First Rock: “Hey, you’re gonna love this one!”

Second Rock: “I doubt that very much but go ahead I’ll humor you!”

First Rock: “What did one human say to the other human?”

Second Rock: “And I’m supposed to be interested in this … why?”

First Rock: “No, trust me, you’re going to laugh out loud. You know those humans…”

Second Rock: “Not particularly well nor do I wish to.”

First Rock: “Seriously, this is to die for … it’s so funny!”

Second Rock: “Okay, okay, so whats the joke?”

First Rock: “What did one human say to the other human?”

Second Rock, “Ah… we’re talking about human beings here – they don’t communicate with each other!”

First Rock: “Oh … you’ve heard that one!”

RockhumoR®

Hope it’s good for a few laughs and that your weekend has been a good one for you!

~ Penny,

(Hi, this was first posted a year and a half ago – but I wanted to share something fun and funny with your guys! – Hope you enjoyed!)

“My Portions Are Magnificent!”

/ Penny L Howe / 14 Comments

Two Peas in a Pod

As most of my friends and blog followers know I have two ‘substantial in size’ cats. They are “my guys” I have had them with me since they were 5 weeks old. They are now almost 7 years old. And as I say they are substantial.

Franky and Jonny

Both Franky and Jonny are gental and gracious, easy going (unless cornered) and pose in a manner that lends itself to great beauty. So I was most astonished, the other evening, when I came upon them where the light was rather dim, to find them in disagreement with each other.

As the lighting is bad the two photos are blurry but here is Jonny who is distinctly portlier than Franky and he is definitely taking exception to Franky, who off-camera appeared to be smirking at him. Truly, Jonny is in a most unattractive, undignified pose. (although if you look in the first picture at the top you’ll notice Jonny has always liked to sit in that pose, LOL)

IMAG4092-1

Jonny showing his, um muscular physique.

and the second blurry photo is Jonny pointing out to Franky that he is not a chub!

Franky giving Jonny the word.

“I am not chubby, My portions are magnificent … is that clear?”

In a little while all was made up and the evening ended amicably between the two.

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Animals are amazing and I love them all. I hope you enjoyed my playful take on my two favorite felines.

I hope all are have a good week and taken a little time out for fun!

With Affection,

~ Penny

A little humor here (very little, LOL!)

/ Penny L Howe / 16 Comments

By ferry11

*

“So um, hey bud … pal of mine,
you’re just cleaning your paws here
… right?
I mean it’s you and me … right, guy?”

*

Sometimes keeping your friends close and your enemies closer is not necessarily a good idea!

Hope everyone is having the best weekend they can have (all things considered). Stay cool – or warm, as the case might be and take care of you.

Thanks for stopping by,

~ Penny

A Halloween Mystery – The Pumpkin Family’s missing Engine!

/ Penny L Howe / 13 Comments

Trouble_in_the_Pumpkin_Field

“Dag blasted, Jack! What’ve you done with the engine?” Mr. Pumpkin was really angry. It was just about time for everyone to pile in to go to the Halloween party and with no engine in the pickup they wouldn’t be going anywhere.

“Honest, Amos,” Jack replied. A seedy look in his eye, “I just can’t understand what could have happened.”

“Well, it’s not as if you have to be a rocket scientist to figer this ‘un out Jack. Firstly, there’s an engine and now there ain’t!” Amos pulled his orange hankie out of his rear pocket and wiped his sweaty orange brow off with the realization he’d have to tell ‘Maude’, Mrs. Pumpkin.” He knew this would not set well with her.

In the mean time Jack had turned away from the pickup and was searching the ground.

“Jack, what are you doing now?” Amos asked, getting more agitated by the minute. “Looking at the ground isn’t going to solve our missing engine problem.”

“Well, that’s not the way I see it Amos,” Jack responded, scratching his triangular concave nose, while he continued to search the ground. It was starting to get dusk, and hard to see well. Thank goodness for the candle inside his head that illuminated his eyesight!

“Joe and Jeff must have run off to get some food? That would explain things! ” I’m trying to see if they left a trail behind for us to follow.”

“What in the gosh durn heck of it all, do Joe and Jeff goin’ for food have ta’ do with anything?” Amos exploded.

“Well I figer it this way,” Jack went on. “If Joe and Jeff took off goin’ nut huntin’, and they be the lead squirrels in dem cages in the truck engine, then they probably let the other squirrels out at the same time.

I’m guessin’ we’ll have ta’ wait for them to fill up and then they’ll be back at work in the engine, gettin’ it up and runnin’, at least that’s what I reckon’ll happen!”

Amos spat on the ground and went along with Jack to get a lantern, and some moonshine out of the shed. They decided they might as well fill up with fuel too, while they waited for their “engine” to do the same thing!

Halloween Mystery solved – The whole thing was nuts!

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

~ Penny

Friday Fictioneers – “Bee There” News Report!

/ Penny L Howe / 58 Comments

Friday Fictioneers – A writers challenge. Be specific – write one hundred words or less. The format – flash fiction. The prompt – A photo by Jennifer Penderfast, thanks Jen. Your gracious hostess – Rochelle. The fun you get when you read each of the stories from an International group of writers gathered each week to partake of this creative fun and entertainment: Priceless. For more info and to sign on: Click here!

jennifer-pendergast1.jpg

photo by and copyright to jennifer pendergast 2013

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FLASH – A Special “Bee There” News Report
Reporter Johnnie Bee Good reporting… All bees avoid beeing seen in the following locales… Bee careful, beecause it’s a jungle out there.
Old MacDonald had a farm – The BeeGee’s have claimed it – as their own. They are beehaving with extreme violence to infiltrators!
In the Still of the Night – The fireflies are beewitched, shining their lights in front making scary faces and scaring the beezeejus out of us.
Bee kind to your web-footed friends – Don’t have a clue on this one, but old Mother Goose has got a bee in her bonnet today! And no it’s not one of ours!
Beelieve it or not … Johnnie Bee Good signing off!
~
Song heard in the background (not really ) is “Ain’t misbeehavin” – with too many extra words this week – just having too much fun here!

Hope you enjoyed, have a great day!

Penny

penny

Sleepless in Seattle – Zombie Identity Crisis!

/ Penny L Howe / 22 Comments

An Official First Ever Zombie Rant

“If you honestly believe having pieces of myself falling everywhere is some kind of a great kick in the pants (much less the need to go back and collect them, well okay, mostly I don’t do that, unless I see a dog, like, chewing on a piece and well, that’s just gross) but come on lighten up already! And those movies … Aww come on already!”

“So do you really think that being among the undead is something I coveted, something that I couldn’t wait to happen. (actually I’m not precisely sure how it happened – it just did!) Exactly what do you think I’m supposed to do with myself? Well more precisely the various pieces of myself.”

“Yeah, I’m ticked off about stuff. You would be too. How’d you like to wake up and be …well, like me.”

“The average day spent groping about for direction, I still don’t have a clue of what I’m supposed to be doing, ya’ know, my M.O. (so to speak). So I hang out with other undeads, I have an in there, naturally, but then there’s this “like” group of us milling around. Although I have to say it was exceedingly groovy and cool to help Michael Jackson in “Thriller”. Who knew we could dance like that? We didn’t even need a choreographer, it just came naturally. Those awesome funky moves, I mean.”

“So there you have it. I (we) need serious direction because well, we’re basically clueless, kind of like Buffy the vampire killer, so we do what we do because … we do. The redundancy of our redundancy kind of thing … did that go over your head? I hope?

“I like to think of myself as being a somewhat intellectual zombie! Smarter than the average zombie. I wonder? Are all we zombies ‘average’, you know the same as? Or are we individuals, unique onto our selves (parts and pieces)? Sigh, heavy thoughts for one to contemplate. Over my head or off my head, as the case may be. The thoughts get lighter than … ha, ha. See a sense of humor too!”

“I’m thinking there has to be more to it then that. Okay so that’s my rant. Enjoy the video. Oh, and if you can come up with any thoughts on what my focus as a zombie should be – let me know, in the mean time, I’ll stay “Sleepless in Seattle”! Yeah I do puns really well! Oh and it’s okay if this goes viral … I’m totally cool with that also!”

“Your zombie friend, borrowing Penny’s THE WHY ABOUT THIS space (thank you Penny), so I could rant!”

Love and hugs (“I thought that was a nice friendly ending, but you probably wouldn’t really want to hug me – unless you want to take part of the hug with you, literally speaking”).

I. M. A. Zombie