When Nights in Paradise Become Lonely

The physical attributes of paradise cannot be gainsaid and needless to add, each person has their own view of what their surroundings of paradise would contain.

But here’s the thing, just as no person is an island onto themselves, our emotional hearts require the taste and nourishment of paradise too. Without shared love, affection and caring regard from others to sustain and lift us up in our darker hours, a creeping insidious aspect begins; even in the most seemingly ideal paradise (perspectively speaking). An aspect which may ultimately undo the original intent of a seeker of paradise.

*For me, paradise is first and foremost about bountiful and sincere expressions and actions of love, after which the ambiance of physical trappings may be added.

“Seek you then to love openly and freely with caring, joyful fulsomeness. The best sort of paradise will always begin within loving hearts.”~Plh

May your days ahead be filled with many good things. Have the best week possible. Thanks for stopping by.

(*btw I’m perfectly understanding of the many many who, in today’s interesting times, would be content with just waking up to a less insane mentality than the one currently proliferating around the world. Me too!)

With sincere affection,

~Penny

I Go On

image

There are moments … when I crave so desperately to be in your arms. I know you chose security over the insecurity (that was all I had to give during my time of loss and turmoil). Well actually insecurity along with my love, a belief in you and your loving words of support, and a true need for you by my side.

But I did and do understand. And I am happy for you. You are exactly where you want to be.

As for me, well, sometimes I find myself forgetting you left me to pursue your personal dreams, leaving our shared dreams far behind. Leaving me to conquer them on my own, reshaping into a single dream. And I have, for the most part.

Yet, even so, there are still those nights when the thought of being held safely in your arms is so compelling … sigh.

I have had many people ask me where my strength of will comes from (and my happiness). My strength comes through learned experiences of facing life’s hardships on my own, often when those I cared about weren’t there as I had thought they would be. This is called surviving.

And my reason for my happiness – conquering the adversity and fears that accompanied the hand I was dealt. Alone and on my own … yes, and sometimes so lonely.

But none the less, much stronger as a survivor of both life and love’s misfortunes because I am not helpless, inferior or weak and therefore …

       “In spite of Life’s Challenges …
   I Go On!” ~ Plh, 2016

~ Penny

Ligo Haibun Challenge – The unfillable thirst!

For my haibun I’ve chosen the following quote:

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe

Life is lived in gulps when you’re creative, when you’re beautiful, when you’re smart, when you’re born very poor and a female. Those irreconcilable differences of who and why you even exist, much less the fabric of who you are become inconsolable when alone, so once famous enough you gulp at things in a curious mixture of compelling needs, desires and forbidden fruit.

Filling needs unfillable by your definition of life and understanding. Too little, too late, and the unendurable doubt of what is real and true.

So more and more those gulps of life lived on the edge take over, the extremes of danger, risk, passion. Either that or through oblivion’s eyes watch as  night stretches endlessly out towards the unattainable, cleanly defined by who you are not.

To be just who you are, not who you made yourself become – to be recognized.

not who I am
filling nights endless void
all I am not

~

Marilyn Monroe (photo above “street art depiction”) is undoubtedly one of the most famous recognizable hollywood actresses in the world today although her stardom and death happened more than a half a century ago.

She is viewed as a major sex symbol and yet Norma Jeane Mortenson (her real name) poor, lonely and indifferently bandied about foster care homes for most of her youth understood, at a very young age, that her best chance at life was to become something other than what she was. The view from her talented and intelligent eyes being that what she was – wasn’t working very well as far as life’s conditions went.

Her last few years are indicative of the emotional trauma within her. Illness, drug problems, depression. And yet today she is a pop and cultural icon, due entirely to the fact of how well she recreated herself – sadly for the wrong reasons – Acceptance! She died of an overdose of barbiturates in 1962! Her legacy lives on.

Here is Elton Johns tribute to Norma Jeane:

 

For more information on how to enter this weeks Ligo Haibun Challenge click here!

Thank you for dropping by, I hope you enjoyed, have an excellent weekend!

~ Penny

Penny