I Had Planned on Writing Something Different Here, but …

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… I read something that made me change my mind.

Funny how that can happen. You’re all prepared to go ahead with plans and then something untoward will occur and there you are frozen where you stand or onto a new and different pathway of being or direction of heading. Serendipity is a great word when things occur that change your life in a happy way. Fate seems to be the word we use when sudden change brings about things that are less than cheerful … or worse.

And yet, having said all that and having lived through a few both serendipitous and fate oriented experiences I must say that I believe there is an undercurrent or relationship to those things that mold and shape us – our life experiences – that is still a rather large unknown.

We, humans, will analyze the heck out of a thing to figure it out and when we are still unsure it becomes a magical unknown. Speaking for myself, I rather like the magical unknowns. It is wearisome to try to determine the how and why when we are so easily influenced by our emotions that insist on getting involved too. Then you find yourself dealing not only with the circumstances of an event but also your own feelings. Guilt, Anger, Depression, Hurt and so on.

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Now that I have your undivided attention …

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We are easily influenced. I believe I already mentioned that … Still it’s worth mentioning again … and the words I read earlier now make me want to write the following to pass on to you:

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“Yesterday is there for a reason. It’s over with. The past. Record the events in your mind, file them in the proper place and move on. Really move on. Let go your susceptible emotions still hanging in there. Recognize them for what they are, then let go and move on.

You are now living in the today of things. This is where you should be too. Not yesterday. Yesterday is for memories and reminders, but not negative emotions clogging up your today. Let go so that when tomorrow comes, you’ll be ready, or as ready as the magical unknown allows you to be – lol.”

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Have a great week ahead everyone.

With much affection,

~ Penny

Inferno of Emptiness

In between happy memories and heartache,

there are the days when it still can’t be born.

Days consumed with my awareness of loss.

 Some days – feelings are ignored, muted, dealt with,

and yet … and yet

there are days

when the need is so strong,

when the “lack of” …  so overwhelming,

the feeling of being so alone and lonely,

it is then, I realize you’re still here,

in my heart,

my mind,

my thoughts,

my being,

and the longing becomes searing, burning pain,

melting tears into little pieces of lost love

and I cry myself to sleep within an inferno of emptiness.

Penny L Howe, 2014

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Meet Plato – The Intelligent Cat!

Plato

Plato, the intelligent Cat

This is Plato. and he’ll have been a part of our family for a year, right around Halloween time. While he’s certain the color for Halloween, he’s far more than just another black cat. He is a smart and beautiful cat with a most magnificent tail.

em and nay

Before Plato there had been Sawyer the cat. Emma’s beloved Sawyer left us last fall. She was a beautiful calico cat and at 16 yrs had lived a full life. When Emma was born, Sawyer (who never had kittens), adopted Emma, the two became inseparable, when Emma lost her dear father 4 years ago, Sawyer rarely left her side, she was an amazing cat and we were all sad when she was gone.

Adorable Emma

But for Emma, under the circumstances Sawyer was one too many losses and left an unusually large hole of sadness in her heart and although we had said no more pets, already having 3 cats and 2 dogs (not counting Sawyer) we felt that here was a loss we could partially replace for Emma. So we went to a special rescue place for cats and Emma picked out the kitten of her choice.

Franky cautiously checking out the new kitten!

Plato is beautiful and playful and has turned out, as I mentioned at the beginning, to be very intelligent. He’s thinks about things and studies to improve his learning, LOL. Seriously, he is very clever and we never know what to expect with him even after a year. And he adores Emma!

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He hasn’t replaced Sawyer, Emma still misses her, but he is a wonderful companion for Emma and the other animals have graciously (well not entirely) accepted him into the family as well!

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 You must admit he is beautiful, and take my word for it – he’s also smart! Well okay, to be honest, my Franky and Jonny think he’s a pain in the …

Happy Wednesday/Thursday everyone!

Penny

The Fourth Day of Happiness – The Brightest Star in the Sky!

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On the fourth day of Happiness a young girl and a little older boy (brother and sister) were looking up at the evening sky staring at the glorious blanket of seemingly endless sparking stars spread out across the heavens.

(The following is a true and recent conversation that I heard and witnessed. These children lost their loving dad to an unfortunate and sudden accident several years previously, As a result even the happiest holiday season is poignant with memories of times past for these young ones.)

“Look,” She said pointing to the brightest star in the sky. “It’s daddy, I know it is.” Her brother looked and was quick to agree with her.

“Yes it is Daddy. He is the brightest star in the sky,” her brother said smiling proudly.

The little girl was just as quick to answer her brother. “Of course he’s the brightest star. He’s shining down and smiling at us from heaven because he loves us and is happy we are doing okay.”

The two young ones watched for awhile, content to stare silently up into the starry sky. Their thoughts a combination of longing for their father interwoven with the enriching feeling that they and their dad were still a part of each other and the Universe (both the seen and unseen).

We are all blessed. And whatever our beliefs, all of us derive a happiness when looking up into the majestic night sky to view eternal stars shining in the sky, and yes some stars definitely shine brighter than others!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe children of this story!

We are so lucky when we consider, and remember the stars in our lives! Happy New Year everyone. Take care of you as you begin your new year most definitely with lots of hope and love (and dreams)!

With much love and affection to all of you,

Penny

I wish you could touch me now …

I am vulnerable because of loving so pure and deeply, my walls of protection cannot keep my desire for you at bay.

and so … I wish you could touch me now. Not my heart, you’ve touched me there too deeply, it’s still bruised and bleeding. But my body still hungers for you.

I need your touch …

I desire the warmth of your caress, the closeness of your body, the physical contact of … you!

I wish you could touch me now …

… even as I understand morning light will illuminate the true reality of our relationship. I know for all your tender caring words, you would be gone and my loving soul will still be bruised … for all your promises said in the moonlight hours of sensual need and gratification. I know all this.

But the longing remains so …

I still wish you could touch me now.

I’ll always have our memories of the night time to sustain me, in daylight hours spent alone, reflecting on why you said one thing and did another. Belittling my efforts instead of supporting them, and yet still I love you. And wish you to be happy.

I am pleased to hear you are where you’ve wanted to be for so long. I am happy for you. Resigned, accepting and aware of some of the hard learned lessons of life, when one exposes one’s soul during love.

But now in these evening hours I dream of you touching me again, filling my sensual needs. Even, as reality has come full circle and comprehension of the cruelty of those who love and those who take in the guise of love, is complete.

Touch me … but let it be only the physical, my bruised soul cannot bear the mockery of a pretense at true love (yours were personal and emotional needs for yourself. I don’t believe you really thought of my needs – perhaps as an afterthought), but my body does respond to your loving body. So in that, there is truth.

I wish you could touch me. I’m prepared now for tomorrow … it hurts, but I understand. With all the love in my heart that I give so freely, I was so sure someone might love me the way I loved them in return … it seems I was mistaken!

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Most definitely an unrequited love piece here. Not to worry, my next fictional piece is part two of adventure and excitement. Dry your tears and stay tuned for fun! Our fictional young lady in the piece above (p.s.- she’s the one trapped in the tunnel https://thewhyaboutthis.com/2013/07/22/alastairs-photo-fiction-the-tunnel-and-survival/ , although brokenhearted, she’s about to kick some serious a..!) More to come!

~ Penny

penny

A Special Prayer for a Friend

There is a very special person I know. She lives a great distance away, an ocean and another continent separate us. But when we are in the world of blogging we become next door neighbors, exchanging creativity, thoughts and emotional connections.

Most recently she lost someone close to her and her family. It is in these moments that faith (all faiths) can be of great value to turn to for comfort.

The man singing this song (and his wife) had just lost his father and dedicated this song to him. All the voices you hear melding together are theirs – this is a prayer sung with great talent, total sincerity and much emotion).

With much love, respect and affection I gift this prayer to you my friend ~ Take care of you!

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~ Penny

To all Bloggers who write – A Challenge

The Challenge

I have become increasingly impressed with the quality of talent that I see out there every day in the online blog world so today I am offering a challenge and a “featured” reward to those who write (as in almost every single one of you, lol). THE CHALLENGE: Write a poem, your own creative version of Unrequited Love (When it comes to Love, nothing is sadder or  more potentially tragic than to have your love not returned by the one whom you love).

A few days ago, on the first day of September, I wrote of a (pretend) conversation going on in my head between my “muse” and my “imagination”. It was for fun and included two poems, each written from their varying perspectives. The “muse” – from a female gender perspective and “imagination” – a male gender perspective (hey, don’t read anything into the gender thing going on there. Well okay, read a little something into it if you want to – lol)

Since I wrote these two poems however I’ve been uncomfortable because I tried to write each poem from those (mythical) perspectives. So today with both my muse and my imagination working together I am in a full and completely creative mode. My challenge … to surpass the two short poems written previously on Unrequited Love,

Your Challenge, should you choose to accept, is to send me your own creative version of Unrequited Love. Email all entries to penny1717howe@gmail.com. This can be a poem you’ve already written or something new, The challenge will stay open until September 14th, The winning entries will be featured a few days later here on my blog with attached short bio’s about each of the writers and of course a link to their blog! So come on all of you, show me your stuff!

But first my offering in this challenge of creativity:

Shattered Dreams

You

all I was,

all I thought,

all I tasted, all I felt,

all I dreamed.

you,

only you

the essence of you

everything.

nothing now,

I lay broken

in pieces,

shattered dreams

splinters of time,

withering

Our dreams of love,

forever

gone,

 passionate emptiness

pain

exquisitely tormenting,

 empty tears

suffer

a broken soul,

I

cease

to be

me!

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Okay, now it’s your turn, once again submit your entries (yes, you may submit more than one) to: penny1717howe@gmail.com final deadline is Midnight -September 14th, 2012

Penny

Copyright © 2012 by Penny l Howe