Today, I think I’ll be me!

Living your life for or through others is a very unhealthy thing. I wrote this for someone I know. She spent too many years in this mode until she herself realized what she needed to do for herself to be a whole person. It is a reminder to others as well:

Yesterday and the day before,
I was told who I should be and everyone agreed (except me)!
Yesterday and the day before I was the person
everyone wanted me to be (except me)!
 Yesterday and the day before,
I did things the way others had decided I should do things, to please them not myself.
Yesterday and the day before,
I just went along with the others to keep the peace, not because I thought it was right.
Yesterday and the day before,
I was miserable and didn’t like the me I’d become very much, at all.
Yesterday I almost decided,
I didn’t want to be here or anywhere, any more.
I wasn’t sure who I was or why I even existed.
I even wondered if I’d be missed by anyone.
And then it dawned on me. I’d miss me.
In fact I’d been missing the “me” I am inside for a very long time.
And yesterday I finally realized,
that all my yesterdays weren’t mine at all.
And I decided that was all over.
Today, I think I’ll be me.
I’ll have my own independent thoughts and opinions and I will voice them.
Today, while I’m being me I’ll get to know myself even better,
in fact I think I’ll start introducing myself to others.
There is a whole bunch of “me” inside just waiting to come out.
And I think it’s about time.
 Today I think I’ll be me!


Penny L Howe, 2013

Thanks for stopping by,


Holding myself perfectly still ~ a sensual silence,


… overwhelmed by an array of resonating sensations that are clearly impossible. No one can feel this way. No one!

And yet I was feeling the feelings I was feeling … engulfed in a myriad of sensuality.

All this happening around me. I knew … it must be a dream, It had to be a dream. It made no sense, it was toofile0001229361510 much to be experiencing, I must be in a dream.

Things that can’t happen in real life do happen in dreams. We all know that. In dreams all is real, the fabric of reality weaves in and out and all seems possible. So yes, this is a dream. I can accept that. These incredibly wonderful feelings, I could cry for the love of these sensations spreading joyfully through my body. An enveloping of raw and enticing purity.

Every single one of my senses alive with a kind of tingling. An almost touch of reality except, it is carried onward, much as an echo would, carrying through and repeating itself.

This is not REALITY. These sensations coming alive within me. I am not just aware ~ the very essence of who I am is vibrating and returning these sensations. It is to be feeding both upon my emotions and those of another – at the same time. This urge to taste beyond my taste buds, see beyond my vision, smell beyond my olfactory glands, to touch beyond the caress of harsh and velvet textures and to hear beyond melodic harmony of rhythm, and sound.

The acuteness of sensation spreading through and being perceived by the entirety of my being creating the most incredibly delightful feelings. And yet words do not do this justice for the sensation I experience.


An intangible emotion has attached itself to my sensual awareness. And along with it comes a tangible physicality. I have fallen in love mesmerized by the exquisite perfection of your first kiss!


Thank you,

~ Penny


The Way ~ for the Future!


Is there a “Way” to be?

A way to live our lives today and tomorrow that will enrich both ourselves and all that we do?

Perhaps there is! Here’s something for you to consider, what if there was a way?

The Way” might have 7 rules. Well not actual rules (I’m rather weary of rules myself) as much as perhaps a relearning of methods or patterns in howfile000701999919 we do what we do during the process of living our lives.


The Beginning – A very basic level of understanding (about ourselves) is the beginning.

An attitude of awareness, and acceptance to want to hear and believe how we act/react and why (cause and effect).


Next is Balance. Within you is a ‘fulcrum’. A support, a center point of rest, on which everything (your emotions, thoughts, actions) moves around. “Maintaining yourself in a manner that keeps you balanced is the key.”


file0001326995371Third – is to Simplify, have clarity of thought.

Clearness to focus and concentrate. When life or things become convoluted and complex, it becomes very difficult if not impossible to accomplish that which you have set out to do. Without being clear within yourself you cannot be balanced.


Fourth – Be Open with your actions!. Sharing while listening, Giving while being open to receiving, Needingfile1801281015946 while being there for others.


Being open in the give and take of life experiences!


Fifth – Acceptance when confronted with things and people that are hurtful, know that there is that which you can not change. Be true to yourself even as you are there for others.


file000767348141Fullness is sixth, embracing life with large deep breaths and then filling yourself with all that sustains you and life!.


Giving is seventh. To Love Unconditionally is to give freely.


All we are is contained within the above. The more complex, the morefile000453698099 convoluted, the more closed, the more secretive and apart from … the more doubt, the more suspicion, the more fear …

The less accepting, the more rejecting … the more empty, the more loneliness…


Go back to the beginning.

Understand your attitude and balance yourself. Remember everything evolves around how you decide to feel about things including yourself.


Cause and effect … your thoughts, your emotions, your actions/reactions swirling around inside you.

Life, nature, you and I, tomorrow, the future …


The Way? Balance!


Thank you,

~ Penny


Believe … Let go … and …Trust!


The Trusting Heart

Now that’s a tough word isn’t it? TRUST!

I know it is.

I think that most of us have had issues with that one, both in the past and present.

Quite a difficult thing to maneuver around. Lack of trust does seem to get in the way of many things.childs trust

It is so extremely hard to trust sometimes, but not trusting can become an anchor that weighs you down.

Have you ever had a child leap off of something towards you and say “Catch me”? You barely have time to acknowledge their request when your arms go out to catch them. They trust you.

They haven’t learned any painful lessons yet that can make it harder to trust so unconditionally.

Brutal lessons in life can take innocent belief away. But for your own health and well being and as difficult  as it may be – Let go, forgive (as you can and then move on towards the trusting heart!



I believe in you!

~ Penny


The Love Sampler of Life.

love sampler

Appetizing love.

The greatest thing ever, also the most complicated, also at times the hardest to understand.

Is Love free?

Love comes packaged in a wide variety of ways. Little loves, big loves, first loves, affectionate loves, caringcontainer of love loves, seductive loves, people loves, animal loves, love of things, love of yourself, love of life.

Do they all come with a price tag?

Is there any love out there that comes without a price? Not really.

The price you pay for giving true unconditional love, for example, is opening your heart so wide that your character stretches in all directions and you are not blinded by valueless meanings.

To Love and be loved.

Do we come prepared to pay the price?

How about long lasting love? The price for this is learning to give and take in the relationship with both partners involved in this exchange. Recognizing both the (perceived perhaps) shortcomings of the other as shoppingwell as the positives. Each partner gives the other partner room to grow individually as a human being while being there to share in the ups and downs, good and bad.

And what of ourselves is there a price to be paid for loving ourselves. Yes! Looking in the mirror of our life and accepting ourselves for who we are and the value we inherently have as our very own unique and special self!

So do we understand what Love is?

Really? Do we? Are our hearts open? Are we stretching our character and growing as a human being and are we embracing ourselves for who we are so we can in turn embrace others?

Are you sampling, tasting, stretching, growing, giving, loving? Are you?

I hope so ~ I really do!

Thanks for visiting me, I wish your week ahead to be a good one and that you take just a little time for yourself during the extra busy week ahead!

~ Penny